Diva's Life: Regaining My Fearlessness

"I was such a dreamer. Whatever happened to me? Followed all the arrows...."

-Arrows by Szjerdene 

Since it's Thursday (#TBT), let's take a trip down memory lane. Four years ago I packed up my life and headed to Atlanta for an internship that would hopefully get me in the door of the beauty industry. I had only graduated college six months prior and had begrudgingly returned to my seasonal retail job part time to have some money in my pocket. Not the ideal situation for a recent grad armed with a biology degree. When people tell you to tell everyone who will listen what you want to do and listen when people are talking even you think the topic will serve you no purpose; do it.

I vividly remember going out for drinks the day after Thanksgiving  with my cousin, her best friend, and her cousin who was in town visiting. My cousin was asking what she was up to and I was half listening until she mentioned her interest in the same field I was trying to break into. This conversation eventually led to her telling me the name of the lab she interned at that made personal care product for larger and small brands. I got a contact name and that Saturday, not caring that their hours said M-F on their website and sent my resume over. I was so hungry for this opportunity that I had no second thoughts on how I would relocate my life if it worked out. Needless to say, after a phone chat, and another with my fam, I began to relocate. I had some money saved from my part time job, but no place to stay. I'm so thankful to my college best friend and her parents who opened their home to me for six months while I chased my dreams.

The internship turned into a job and great experience in product formulation. However, all things must come to an end, and I found myself at another just not in my desired industry. I then focused on gaining transferable skills. But that line was beginning to take a toll on me mentally and physically.  I wanted out! So many things held me back from leaving sooner, like rent, bills, money, etc. Then I thought to myself, I was my biggest obstacle. I never had all my ducks places perfectly in a row before I took an opportunity. Sometimes life doesn't give you all the pieces of the puzzle before you pass go, you have to find them on the way. So what was I waiting for? I was afraid. I had lost the fearlessness I once had. So I prayed about it and decided that I would not renew my lease and leave my job when I had to be out of my apartment. So that's exactly what I did. Faith without works is dead, so it was time to put in more work. But where would I go? Home.

I moved home last Saturday in an effort to free myself of the environment that was working against me. I needed to recalibrate my professional life up until this point and start over to move forward.  With this change, I am relying on the fearlessness I once had because I have a place to stay, a few leads to jobs but nothing concrete yet, and faith. Faith in myself and my higher power that I land on my feet and things will work out. Fashion and beauty are my passions and I have decided to wholeheartedly make a career out of it, no settling. 

As my mom once told me, "Just turn your lemons into lemonade. You can't take risks sitting still."

I'll keep you updated on my transition.

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